riding the waves of emotion

Riding the waves of emotion
I think I’m in for some smooth sailing,
But then,
As I look around, ahead of me,
Behind me, all around me,
I’m seeing white, white porcelain walls of a bathtub.
This isn’t sailing…
I’m safe, and I can make my own waves in here,
But I’m not sailing…

Back out to sea I tumble
Feeling the waves again.
Up and down.
Elation comes, and it goes.
Felt the most joyous surge rush through me
As I asked a big, loud, silent “How?”

I misplaced my motivation in that last fun ride though.
Finding another wave to ride up now,
A calmer sea,
So I don’t lose my footing as I search around for that lost motivation…
Or possibly, maybe, I’ll just take that nap…oh, yeah, I already did.

Here it is… Found it.
Back on my feet.
Back with some motivation,
But still lacking direction-
Or something.
Still searching for
Something
Unknown.

Not a bathtub
I don’t belong there…

Maybe it’s just this expression.
I can ride the waves,
I can feel the waves,
As long as I express them.

The highs and the lows-

Especially especially
The tips of the highs
And the bottoms of the lows.

That’s what threw me…
Possibly?
I was feeling such a high-
A high that I wanted to express,
It slowly,
Then suddenly
Deflated.
As I experienced some frustration,
I didn’t know how to express it,
Or where,
To whom,
So I didn’t.
I so rarely do.
But, judging by the little tears that entered in my eyes upon my little revelation,
I think that’s it.
At least in this case
In this little ride I enjoyed today.
A bathtub has no outlet
For a boat out at sea.
I needed an outlet,
But I was stuck in a bathtub
Believing I was in the calmest of seas.