returning…to a house

Returning …to a house
No longer my own
A sterile-looking environment.

The same look that has bothered me
About Greater Phoenix in general
Is here in my ‘home’,
Almost my ex-home,
But still a home because it’s where my girls are.

The sterile-looking environment
(I feel compelled to add ‘-looking’ because it’s far from sterile..and rarely clean)…
It’s what I was silently fighting,
Makes my ‘home’ feel foreign to me-
A familiar corporate franchised hotel look
That talks of its own appearance
Not of its occupants

The pattering of little feet in its hallways.

The well-designed contrasts
A beautiful appearance
That refused repeatedly to address function and reason (and me)
Are speaking to me
As a stark contrast to how I want to live…
I want to start with a purpose
The function
The essence
And find, create beauty from there.

~by Carolyn Bentley, 2010